Living Stones December 14 2008

Living Stones December 14 2008

 

 

Sometimes life is  mysterious  and complex. The last months have given me both mystery and complexity.  If I could put it in one statement it would be;  sometimes we need to experince a lot of humbling to learn meekness and gentleness.

 

A woman who had personal issues came for counseling.  She is so busy for God and yet, her husband shows little interest in her.  Their children are not walking with the Lord.  Her natural response?  Anger!  Her attitude is something like, Lord, surely I have earned more than this.  I so often recognize myself in the women God uses me to walk with into a deeper walk with Himself.  He uses them to teach me.  One of the deepest lessons is to abide in the True Vine and to live by the Spirit.  That sounds so simple...but, true life challenges show how easy it is to still think like the world.  Those thoughts would sound like this; "I have worked so hard for you Lord, and I have recieved such small blessings."  God's response is, "My acceptance and blessing is not based on your hard work but My Grace alone.  My Grace is more than enough for you."    

 This has been one of those years......time seems to go much faster.....if my grandmother could only hear me now.  It has been a year of great turmoil and challenge.  There has been lots of mystery and complexity.

Yet, two things stand out clearly in my mind.  God has taken me deeper into Himself than ever before.  He used sorrow and pain in the process.  Next, I realize how much I am blessed by all of you who recieve this letter.  God put us together and we belong in the same precious heavenly family.

 Sharing and celebrating the gift of Jesus with you this Christmas.  I thank God for Christ, this year and for you.

With lots of love,

Anita

You also , as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1.Pet 2:4,5
 
Anita Valjak
42000 Varazdin
Tina Ujevica 1c
Croatia
tel.00385-42-312 549
cell. 00385 95-902 47 31
skype: anita.valjak
blog: http://valjak.blogspot.com

Living Stones 16 July 2008

( Church Planting in Croatia)

Family is a very complex institution in Croatia. The family dominates every aspect of ones daily life. In some senses it is very warm and comforting in other ways it is, how can I say, like living inside a fishbowl but with a web cam perpetually turned on.                               

My sons probably have their own interpretation of what it is like growing up with me. I can only imagine the stories they will tell their children......

This last week though was a time of great rejoicing as my youngest son Marko passed his entrance exam into University with such high marks so the state will cover expenses of scholarship for him.

I sat down this week and put my feet up and realised that after fifteen years of bringing these boys up as a single mother that one great phase of our lives together has come to completion.Now it is mine to pray for them, advise them and guide them into manhood when they will in turn have children and care for their families. My feet that were resting on the coffee table suddenly became restless as I realised that my work is not done....it is just beginning.

For me now is a time of decision. My boys are leaving home, and our little Fellowship is having the usual summer break. This is a time to reflect and plan for the future, but there are still so many people to engage with, encourage and seek to bless. The needs of our community have not changed but my circumstances have. Do I press on and find some part time employment to make up for lost support? Do I write to my few but faithful supporters and share that I need to go back to work full time?

I can not easily forget my calling. Nor can I forget that I  grew up as an atheist whose only contact with religion was as a child being forced to bow down and kiss a crucifix on the floor of a Catholic Church. There are so many others like me walking in darkness whose souls haunt me.

So my family......that is you who read this are my spiritual family..please share your thoughts. Maybe some good old family advice will be what God uses to guide in the way ahead.

Bless you all and thank you for praying for me and especially for praying for my boys.

 

Living Stones June 23 2008

( Church Planting in Croatia)

Over the years I have done a lot of hiking through the mountains in this part of the world. One of the highlights is reaching a peak or summit after pushing so hard to climb for so long. The view is spectacular, the sense of accomplishment is so great. There is also a sense in which ones body feels like an instrument under your control instead of how it so often is, a burden that holds you back. Sometimes the destination is clear and you press on with the end in sight and there are other times when where you are going is lost in the fog but you press on by faith not sight, believing your compass rather than your intuition.

There are other times when hiking through the Alps is not like that. The day starts sunny and there is clarity only for it to give way to mist and haze and no matter what one does or how hard one works you can not reach the destination and one simply gives up, turns back and experiences defeat. It is at times like that you try to rationalize why it failed, blame the weather or try to convince yourself it is not really a failure but rather a time to learn something from the experience. Deep down though it is experienced as a failure in your heart.

To be honest this is how I feel now in my ministry of Church planting in Croatia.

My co-workers Bob and Nancy have had to move to Budapest and no matter how I rationalize it the sense of being left behind has effected the work here in our Fellowship.

I have lost now my major support source which made up about 60% of my financial income and it really is awful as I am now trying sell vitamin pills to keep going.. and trying to find some other extra jobs..

But more than these, I feel as if I am loosing my way spiritually. Missionaries often refer to Croatia as the "Graveyard" of missions in Europe and it really is. It is not just that the people are hard to reach with a message of Grace it is as if everything that we engage with here is spiritually against us walking in victory.

My country is one that has been wounded by war from the outside and has wounded itself by its spiritual pride from the inside. Jesus weeps over Croatia as He did over Jerusalem part for their destruction part for their hardness of heart.

I am willing to press on in the fog but I need, I desperately need, help.

 

I need people to hold me in their prayers as one would hold a child who is loosing their way and guide them along a very tricky pathway. I have always accepted this would not be easy and when I "feel" that I am not alone then I can press on... but it is not about "feel" but about "knowing"..Pray for me that when I wake up in the morning that I would enter into the deeper consciousness of HIS presence and that I would rest in the arms of my heavenly Father who knows and understands.

 

And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men but is choice and precious in the sight of God.

You also , as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1.Pet 2:4,5

 

Living Stones April 27 2008

Living Stones April 27 2008

(Church Planting In Croatia)

 

     www.valjak.blogspot.com

In Croatia our history is such that until very recently majority either worked for a big company or the government. In fact you could say if you did not have a set place, time and income you would be considered abnormal. My friends are often curious and ask the questions, What do you do? Where do you work? Who pays you? Without sounding to ego-centric it reminds me of when people asked the disciples of Jesus, Who is he? Who sent him? Whose authority does he speak under?

I hate to admit it but I always feel nervous when people ask these questions. The truth is I am abnormal in Croatian society. But the questions are also good in that they make me focus on the reality of my life.

• I have no set work day..... good for productivity....bad for people like me whose weakness is workaholism.

• I have no set workplace, mostly my apartment is my main office which also doubles as our Church meeting room.

• I have no set salary, or rather I have a ceiling but I never reach it, so life has lows and some lower lows in terms of money.

What I do is:

• Counsel women in need, both believers and unbelievers

• Pray with people in need

• Visit widows and sick people

• Teach in women's groups

• Administer the Church plant

• Writing

As well as

• Clean house

• Cook Food

• Pay Bills

• Parent two teenage boys........Glory

As well as

• Raise support........unsuccessfully

• Bible study

• Prayer

• Fasting

I am tired just writing it.

The truth is I do not believe the above lists are really that important in light of eternity. God's project is my heart before Him. He is the ONE who is building His house with Living Stones. In fact the truth is He may "use" all of our activity for the purpose of bringing more of His life into our own but the activity is not His goal. His life in us is His goal.

Beloved, we live in a constant stress of feeling inadequate, unspiritual and unworthy, never doing enough and never good enough........ but the Holy Spirit is seeking to bring us to the reality of experiecing HIS REST -  in KNOWING that we ARE Living Stones... precious in the sight of God....being built up as a spiritual house..and we ARE a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a Holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that we may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light.

OK I have it. This is my job description........proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Bless you!

 

Yours,

Anita
 

Living Stones April 10th 2008

Living Stones April 10th 2008

 

(Church Planting in Croatia)

http//valjak.blogspot.com

The power of words is so great. When my Doctor friend in Switzerland said the words, " You have a genetic hemoglobin disease called Thalassemia ". It was as if all of a sudden the years of struggling with so many symptoms all made sense. The years of misdiagnosis all seemed to come together to allow me to realise how we have to throw ourselves on the Lord in the mysteries of life. I remember having a blood test few years ago and seeing the writing on the report from the lab saying this sample is not human blood.........not the most comforting of words.

The news of the disease was bad news but I found myself relieved. The power of the words made me both gasp and then be tearful with relief. We are all so complex.

Being there for tests allowed me to spend some time high in the Alps. I know it is silly but it does feel closer to God the higher you go up the mountain. Wherever you look, you are surrounded by high peaks like some kind of proud giants staring at you and reflecting God's glory. When you gaze downwards you can see clean rivers, cristal blue and green lakes and green meadows. I was able to spend 3 days in a beautiful Swiss house 4000 feet above sea level. Our hosts were a Godly family, Florian a Lutheran preacher and his wife Marta. It was enriching to see how these people have such a sensitive knowledge and understanding of God. After visiting many families and sleeping in many different places I started to know more of the heart of the Swiss people. My own country has known so much war for so many centuries these dear people have no war in their history for hundreds of years. You look at my face and their faces and you can see our histories written in our eyes.

Now the Alps are a shadow in my mind but the diagnosis is still with me. All I can say is that God has called me to see my nation redeemed and whether in sickness or in health whilst I have breath I will continue........... with or without human blood.

 

Blessing to you dear people of God and thank you for your prayers, support and walking with me in my Journey with Him.

Yours,

Anita

Living Stones March 14 2008

We have a story from this part of the country about a local peasant leader called Matja Gubec. In the 16^th century the peasants were being oppressed by the local Lords. Gubec tried to stay faithful to his masters but a law was passed saying that all peasant women were the property of the Lord to do with as he pleased. Gubec rallied the peasants together and fought a loosing battle. He himself was taken to Zagreb and crucified in the public square with a red hot metal crown placed on his head.

This story is almost a picture of the sadness that comes to my office day after day in the lives of those seeking help.

A long time friend of mine has been a public figure here for some years. Sadly, she has become well known because she wrote a book about her ten year affair with a high ranking priest in the Catholic Church. Incredibly, she came to faith as a result of preparing sermons for her lover-Priest. Tragically she has become consumed with bitterness and revenge and it has ruined her life. Her story reminds me of Matja Gubec ending in sadness and tragedy.

But now lets look at Jesus. Symbolically, Jesus like Gubec, saw his bride taken captive to sin and Satan and was also crucified. His was not a loosing battle because through His death and resurrection we have been snatched from Satan and transferred into the Kingdom of God's dear Son.

There is hope, there is power and there is healing for the heart.

A young woman who has been so unwell for so long came to me with a problem. Her Church had told her if she could get more faith she would be healed and if she did not get more faith she would not be healed. It has taken a long time to work with her and see her breakthrough to see God as a Father not a force who responds to principles that we generate by our own effort. Whereas her body still suffers her view of God has been healed. There is a place of gentle rest close to the heart of God that is above our earthly frame, it is a place where victory dwells because our Father knows our name.

How great awsome God we do have! The God of all grace! Someone who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us - He rescued His Bride!

Next week I am taking a bus to Zurich, Switzerland where a doctor friend of mine has arranged some medical tests for me. I will also be meeting small groups of believers to see about the possibility of my being accepted for support. Please pray for me that God would open doors for support and also that many would catch the vision to pray for this tough place of Church planting ministry.

Living Stones March 01 2008

( Church Planting In Croatia )

What your life looks like? Is it living in the faith daily, living in dying to self, or experiencing constant battle feeling defeated or discouraged by being on the "field"?

Most of the time it is day to day pressing on in Him.

When things are going tough it is a temptation to be anxious and longing for lasting stability, very often looking back into "Egypt" forgetting about hurts in slavery or bad food.

When things are going too well and life is too comfortable the temptation is to become self centered and forget about needs of others. Both conditions are probably known to each of us.

Just recently I felt temptation to look back and fearfully trying to find security "helping" The Lord - in my own works and solutions. Very often I am faced with question of financial security and at the same time with the question God is continue asking me: "Do you trust Me?"

Moments like crossroads and critical decision points were my recent reality.

Recently two of these big moments have come.

Firstly, my co-workers Bob and Nancy from America who I have been planting the Church with have been led to move over the border into Hungary to be closer to the center of gravity of their primary work among Gypsy people. This immediately means our leadership team has been cut in half and it now means the preaching and teaching will be fully under Croat leadership. For us this is a very positive and exciting moment but not without the personal pain of loss.

We have now moved the Church into my apartment which means quite a change in the style of things. It also means that those of us in leadership are developing and casting our vision in a purely Croatian context. This is very positive and whereas we honour Bob and Nancy in the Lord we see so clearly confirmation of the vision for continuing in Grace. There is a sense of growth, specially connected with the simple vision we all agreed on very beginning of our home church : always to meet around Jesus , count on Him as a Teacher and feeling freedom in giving and receiving love. Maybe that sounds really simple, but for many of us feeling free to receive love was tough one!

So, we all agree that there is no turning back.

The second area is in my own life.

With all kind of changes I have had to face some tough realities in my own life. What do I really desire my life looks like. Or better to say what God desires for my life.. Am I talking about two same things ?

My great struggle over last couple of months was wrestling with the lack of security and the financial struggles of so little consistent means of support. Still, the question was the same :"Do you trust Me?"

Through God faithfulness he allowed me to fall down into my face, in painful crying from my soul and took me with His hand and helped me to get up. And not only to get up, but He gave me new boldness and courage to stand on the ground He put me on. And trust Him that He who called me into Him IS ENOUGH. He encouraged me to press on to dreams He placed in my heart long time ago. He breathed new life in me and renewed my strenght.

Nothing changed from outside...and yet..so much transformed from inside.

If one is ever going to accomplish spiritual victory against the tide then it is going to cost dearly. It is going to cost dying to ones wants and throw oneself fully upon the Grace of God to protect and provide. In short, we have to draw a line in the sand and perhaps with weaping make it clear that we are not turning back.

That is where I am right now. The line is in the sand. The wind is blowing hard to try and remove the line but there was blood on the stick when I scratched the sand and the line remains clear. No turning back!

Thank you all for your faithfulness to Him! Be greatly encouraged - "Christ redeemed us from the curse...having become a curse for us...that we might receive the PROMISE of the Spirit."

Galatians 3:13-14

Bless you all!